That Selfie You Just Took Says A Lot About Your Current Mental State

That Selfie You Just Took Says A Lot About Your Current Mental State

SELFIE – The act of taking a picture was largely reserved for capturing memories of somewhere, or someone, or some time – not to snap a photo of yourself for the explicit purpose of having your ego stroked by your social networking contacts. It’s comically sad that a quick tag search on Instagram reveals tens of millions of photos tagged with ‘self’ in some regard, but given how emotionally needy your average young guy or girl is today, it’s not surprising.

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Every person is a new door to a different world.

23 Ways Your Significant Other is Actually Your Bestfriend

23 Ways Your Significant Other is Actually Your Bestfriend

I have found him. But not sure if I am the same to him. Whatever may come out of this, just continue to look for “this guy”.

Hipster

 

Hipsters are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20’s and 30’s that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter. The greatest concentrations of hipsters can be found living in the Williamsburg, Wicker Park, and Mission District neighborhoods of major cosmopolitan centers such as New York, Chicago, and San Francisco respectively. Although “hipsterism” is really a state of mind,it is also often intertwined with distinct fashion sensibilities. Hipsters reject the culturally-ignorant attitudes of mainstream consumers, and are often be seen wearing vintage and thrift store inspired fashions, tight-fitting jeans, old-school sneakers, and sometimes thick rimmed glasses. Both hipster men and women sport similar androgynous hair styles that include combinations of messy shag cuts and asymmetric side-swept bangs. Such styles are often associated with the work of creative stylists at urban salons, and are usually too “edgy” for the culturally-sheltered mainstream consumer. The “effortless cool” urban bohemian look of a hipster is exemplified in Urban Outfitters and American Apparel ads which cater towards the hipster demographic. Despite misconceptions based on their aesthetic tastes, hipsters tend to be well educated and often have liberal arts degrees, or degrees in maths and sciences, which also require certain creative analytical thinking abilities. Consequently many hipsters tend to have jobs in the music, art, and fashion industries. It is a myth that most hipsters are unemployed and live off of their parent’s trust funds. 
Hipsters shun mainstream societal conventions that apply to dating preferences and traditional “rules” of physical attraction. It is part of the hipster central dogma not to be influenced by mainsream advertising and media, which tends to only promote ethnocentric ideals of beauty. The concepts of androgyny and feminism have influenced hipster culture, where hipster men are often as thin as the women they date. The muscular and athletic all-American male ideal is not seen as attractive by confident and culturally-empowered hipster women who instead view them as symbols of male oppression, sexism, and misogyny. Likewise, culturally-vapid sorority-type girls with fake blond hair, overly tanned skin, and “Britney Spears tube-tops” are not seen as attractive by cultured hipster males who instead see them as symbols of female insecurity, low self-esteem, and lack of cultural intelligence and independent thinking. Hipsters are also very racially open-minded, and the greatest number of interracial couples in any urban environment are typically found within the hipster subculture. 
Although hipsters are technically conformists within their own subculture, in comparison to the much larger mainstream mass, they are pioneers and leaders of the latest cultural trends and ideals. For example, the surge of jeans made to look old and worn (i.e. “distressed”), that have become prevalent at stores such as The Gap, American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Hollister, were originally paraded by hipsters who shopped in thrift stores years before such clothing items were mass produced and sold to the mainstream consumer. The true irony here is that many of the detractors of hipster culture are in fact unknowingly following a path that hipsters have carved out years before them. This phenomena also applies to music as well, as many bands have become successful and known to mainstream audiences only because hipsters first found and listened to them as early-adopters of new culture. Once certain concepts of fashion and music have reached mainstream audiences, hipsters move on to something new and improved. 
Because of the rise of various online photo-blog and social networking sites, insights into urban hipster culture is reaching sheltered suburban audiences at an exponential rate. Cultural “norms” have been deconstructed by hipster culture as a whole. Hipsterism is often dismissed as just an image thing by some, but the culture as a whole is effecting changes in society, leading to feelings of insecurity and resentment in people who are no longer a part of the cultural ruling class. For example, a lot of anti-hipster sentiment evidently comes from culturally-clueless suburban frat boy types who feel that the more sensitive, intelligent, and culturally aware hipster ideal threatens their insecure sense of masculinity. Anti-hipster sentiment often comes from people who simply can’t keep up with social change and are envious of those who can.
A conversation outside a hipster bar in downtown NYC: 

Frat Boy #1: Dude, are you having any luck picking up chicks in there? 

Frat Boy #2: Man…I haven’t experienced anything like this before. These chicks are totally rejecting me and going for all these hipster guys in tight pants and shaggy hair instead. 

Frat Boy #1: Maybe we should head back up to that bar in Murry Hill where you hooked up with that drunk b*tch from Alpha Sigma Phi last week? 

Frat Boy #2: Yeah…I don’t think we have what it takes to compete with these guys in here. These hipster chicks won’t even give us the time of the day!

 
-from the Urban Dictionary

Princess Syndrome

A mental state that a female exhibits out of reverse sexism. Because she is unaware of her sexism, she will claim to deserve supreme aristocratic rights from a partner due to her looks or her child-bearing “pain.” Any brainwashed man will give her tangible things and emotional sublimity to stop her, and she will only demand more.

– from the Urban Dictionary

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=princess%20syndrome

31 Essential Quotes for Singles

Although I am not single as of the moment, this article I read from the Thought Catalog is thoroughly encouraging and empowering to all ladies out there.

My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude. Warsan Shire
 
Too many women throw themselves into romance because they’re afraid of being single, then start making compromises and losing their identity. I won’t do that. Julie Delpy
 
Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.
Sex and the City
 
Being single is getting over the illusion that there is somebody out there to complete you and taking charge of your own life.
Omkar Phatakc
 
If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can’t afford to be with them. Sloane Crosley
 
When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings. Elizabeth Gilbert
 
Personally, I, Mindy Kaling want to spend like 80 percent of my life hanging out with women.Mindy Kaling
 
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Anais Nin
 
It seemed to me that the desire to get married – which, I regret to say, I believe is basic and primal in women – is followed almost immediately by an equally basic and primal urge – which is to be single again.
Nora Ephron
 
It is good to be lonely, for being alone is not easy. The fact that something is difficult must be one more reason to do it. Rilke
 
I celebrate myself, and sing myself.
Walt Whitman
 
Working long hours being single helps because your time is yours. Once you have a family your time isn’t all yours anymore. Most of the Mac team, we were in our mid-20′s, most of us were single, and we were able to essentially devote our lives to it. Andy Hertzfeld
 
I love being single. I can come and go as I please and stay out as late as I want to.
Eric Dickerson
 
You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose.Jo Courdert
 
If we seek paradise outside ourselves, we cannot have paradise in our hearts. Thomas Merton
 
Now I’m feeling how I should. Never knew single could feel this good. Jason Derulo
 
I really enjoy being single again. I spent a lot of time in a relationship and the nearer we came to the end, the more difficult it got. You don’t see things clearly as long as you’re still involved.Dido Armstrong
 
You are terrifying, and strange, and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love.Warsan Shire
 
I think, therefore I’m single. Liz Winston
 
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. Voltaire
 
We did not come to remain whole.
We came to lose our leaves like the trees,
Trees that start again. Robert Bly
 
No human being can really understand another, and no one can arrange another’s happiness.Graham Greene
 
To love blindly is to love selfishly, because the goal of such love is not the real advantage of the beloved but only the exercise of love in our own souls. Thomas Merton
 
I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.
Henry David Thoreau
 
I regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of
sci-fi, in which the world operates according to different rules than my regular human world.Mindy Kaling
 
Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go. Hermann Hesse
 
I like being single, I’m always there when I need me.
Art Leo
 
Discover why you’re important, then refuse to settle for anyone who doesn’t completely agree.Fisher Amelie
 
I don’t like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone. Delta Burke
 
This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.
Elizabeth Gilbert
 
I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.
Warsan Shire
 

The 11 Differences Between Dating a Boy vs a Man

When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents. Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.

“The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness. Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children.”  – Psychology Today

So games used to work on me because 1) I had unresolved daddy issues and 2) At the tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth.

But somewhere in between the passing of a decade, something changed.

I learned to love myself.  I became independent, confident, and started to value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage. Instead of relying on beauty as my source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence, successes, values, contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a sense, I finally grew up. I went from being a girl to becoming a woman. And as a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a girl.

A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up.

If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.

  1. A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
  2. A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life).  A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.
  3. A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
  4. A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.
  5. A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.
  6. A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
  7. A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunk with his buddies at the bar every weekend.
  8. A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.
  9. A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
  10. A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up.

Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:

11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.

*To clarify, when I’m referring to “games” I mean mind games.

 

Source: http://justmytype.ca/11-differences-between-dating-a-boy-vs-a-man/

Lunch Time Talk

HIM: You have big eyes.

ME: Is that good or bad.

HIM: All the cartoons have big eyes.

ME: Uuuhhh… so you’re saying I look like a cartoon??

HIM: No, that’s not what I meant. Didn’t you know? Cartoons are the exageration of what human beings deem as perfect.

 

….. 🙂